I'm sorry, why does "sexy" seem to mean "can see your ass"?

I have a large ass that I like to keep covered. When I go looking for skirts, it is important that there is enough fucking fabric so as not to show my ass. This is important to me. Why, then, are the two choices for pleather skirts super mini and long enough for me to trip over it?

I don't have a need to put the goods on display. We know what's under there. If I want someone to see, well, they're gonna have to ask.