A Letter.

Dear Mr. Inconsiderate Elevator Asshole From Monday:

Please enlighten me as to why, when you sneezed, you had to sneeze everywhere. You could have at least covered your mouth and nose when you sneezed, although I do realize that you had Important Things you were carrying and did not want to sneeze on them. Instead, you ended up sneezing dangerously close to me. When we were waiting for the elevators, I could stand very far away from you when you sneezed. Elevator space, however, is a different story. There's only so much room that I could put between me and the trajectory of your sneezes. The problem was only compounded by the fact, that even though there were only two of us on the elevator, you chose to stand near the back and in the middle, thereby fating me to a less than maximum postition with which to avoid your sneezing. You could have at least tucked yourself in a corner so that I did not feel as if you sneezed on me. I did attempt not to breathe on the short trip to my floor, but it was a difficult task that I failed in. Of course, I do understand that when one sneezes, it can be difficult to be on guard to prevent the delivery molecules of a cold from spewing forth onto a fresh new host. However, I would propose that you needn't aid the virus by throwing your whole body into the sneezing movement, thereby catching my eye and making me wonder if you had actually managed to sneeze on me. Bending at the waist is very unusual manuver for public sneezing.

I do hope you realize why I bring this up, but if you're a bit befuddled, I will clarify why. You see, when you sneezed, the fine mist that wafted from your nose was filled with germs that seek out a new body to propagate in - and those germs found solace in my body. In addition, to be helpful, I will point out that they do sell pocket-sized tissues at various outlets, some of which are very conveniently located near our place of employment, that cater to individuals who are suffering a wide variety of minor aliments such as yours. They even offer a vast array of numerous concoctions that would ease the symptoms of the common cold! Please keep this in mind the next time you are sneezing and plan to be in a very small and confined space with the non-sneezing public. We would take note of your valiant efforts to spare us the suffering that you are experiencing and may even congratulate you on your thoughtfulness and foresight during your illness.

Sincerely,
The Woman Who Wasn't Sure If You Sneezed On Her

ARG

MySpace sucks. All I did was try to log in, once, and well, my account was frozen because of the supposed multiple failed login requests. Fuck that.