Why Boys Are Bad

Boy #1: He's younger than me. I really liked him but apparently no one told him he should take showers. He is also a very hyper melodramatic sort. We were boyfriend/girlfriend for a week once. I just consider him my younger brother. Never date a younger brother.

Boy #2: He's older than boy #1 but younger than me. I like him. I mentioned him a couple posts ago. There's just something about him that I like. I remember well who the hell he is now...he was a drug dealer. Never date drug dealers. (I'm glad he's going back to where he's from.)

Boy #3: We're the same age. He's really nice. Too nice. He was the first for everything. I love him...like a brother. Never date a guy who's like your twin.

Boy #4: He's a year older than me. He is the biggest dork, the rudest dickhead, and a pothead. He's funny, knows when I'm in a bad mood despite my lies that I'm fine, and he is cute. He's also the same sign as me. Never date a Scorpio male, especially if they're born in October. (My apologies to my comrades, I'm sure I'll meet a Scorpio male that isn't stupid.)

Boy #5: He's about ten years older than I am. He is really funny and can be charming. Sometimes he cares about an issue too much. (Don't we all?) I like him. He's cool. I also mentioned him in the last post. The Writer. He's been married twice before. Never date a guy that has hang-ups on power (so admitted by him as reasons of his divorces).

Boy #6: He's nearly twenty years older than I am. He's about as geeky as I am. And I have this odd suspicion that he really likes me. Oh boy. He's a really nice guy, I'm not saying that he isn't, but I don't subscribe to my friend Kat's theory that age is just a number. People older than me have had more experiences just because they've been around longer. It's a logical thing. Never date a tall, lanky geek who's way older than you are.

In all fairness, I've only really dated two of these boys. I've quasi-dated the other four. I'm sure if I were actually dating any of the others, it would be different. Who knows...maybe it's not. I just wish I could find a guy to date that's my own age, has some wisdom, and can be cool with me. But that's what all of us are looking for anyway. So maybe I'll just sigh and go back to studying.