Can't drink to save my life anymore, and it confuses me. I was fine when Mr. Trenchcoat came to see me, I was fine the time after that, but a few weeks ago, mid-September, is when it crashed. Suddenly, my body can't handle alcohol anymore. I don't know what it is. So I guess I'll just stop until my birthday. I'll go out on my birthday, drink a few, and then go home.

It's scared the living shit out of me that I just suddenly don't remember past a point in the evening. And that I get in my car and drive? Fuck that. Ain't drinking no more if it's going to be like that. Wish my tolerance didn't take a nosedive. It's really disturbing that that happens, but I know I've got to quit lest I do the horrible thing I did years ago. That's one "Keep Left" sign that will never threaten anyone again.

I'm actually surprised that I somehow found my car. Normally, I wouldn't and would just call a cab. That's why this is disturbing. I hope that I didn't scare my friend B or anything. Really, I hope not. That would suck.

The thing is, I just don't remember. We were talking about Dexter and Alcoholic Neuropathy, and I don't remember anything after that. I just have an image or two, but nothing...after...that. I have no idea what time I left, if he came with me, how I even drove. It's nuts. Fuck all, it sucks. I used to be able to drink more than that!

The only thing that changed between Mr. Trenchcoat and the middle of September was that my teeth were mostly fixed. I'm wondering if that had anything to do with it, like the infection gave me a higher tolerance. I mean, it was a MAJOR infection. So now I'm wondering what the fuck is going on that my alcohol tolerance plummeted.

Doesn't matter, though, as I'm through with drinking for the most part. If I had kept it together this weekend, I would go out next Friday, but I can't now because it's just not working. It really sucks.