A Rambling to "John"
Hey, John, I'm over here...

Yeah, well, I guess you'll ignore me. I waved at you when you walked in and I guess I'm just not entertaining enough for you to sit and talk to me. This always seems to be the problem with you. I don't mean to be rude, but you used to actually talk to me a long time ago. I wasn't really all that entertaining then either, but somehow you didn't care. Or maybe it's the fact that you've analyzed me enough, figured me out, and decided to move on to the next subject. It's funny how you do that...you oversimplify the complex people and overanalyze the simple people. It would be arrogant of you to think that you've collected enough data on me to state any hypothesis concerning my psyche. I know this for a fact because if I haven't figured myself out yet, I know you wouldn't be able to try. You're not that smart. But then I think that's why you don't hang out with me anymore. I figured out the secret: You're not that smart. I roll my eyes at that. Look around at some of the other people I hang out with, doofus, they're not exactly brain surgeons and rocket scientists. Could it be the drugs? Again, I hang out with a lot of people who do such things (thankfully, not in my presence) and even though I don't do drugs, I still can manage to have a conversation with people who do. I don't understand why you are so silly and hung-up about things...and why you project your hang-ups and insecurites upon other people. I guess that's secret number two that I know...

Now that I think about it, maybe I'm the one who has you figured out and that's why you're ignoring me. Again, I roll my eyes at that. Everybody's ugly in one way or another, everybody's beautiful in one way or another. Just because I know a few truths doesn't mean anything. If you really listened and actually paid attention, you'd know more about me than you think but I know that you haven't because I have connections that tell me things. Here's one for ya: I'm the spy in life and you're not. You only think you are. Ugh, if I didn't actually like you, I could easily forget you existed and would have no reason to talk/think/write about you. And that's where I roll my eyes at myself for being such a "girl". My first drunken reaction to you saying, "I miss you" was, "Oh, how sweet". But then I thought about it. You were the one who was ignoring me. I came up to you to say hello, and you said it back, but after that, you pretended like I wasn't there. So then I didn't even bother to say hello. What would have been the point? And then, just randomly, you came into The Palace of Rock to say hello to me. Oh, I forgot, you were bored. When I was sober, I was mad. You're the one ignoring me, you lament that you miss me (it's your fault of course), and then you expect me to be nice to you? HA! NOT ON YOUR LIFE! I've missed you and was a little hurt that suddenly you couldn't even be bothered to say hello to me. And then you bother me while I'm drinking, whining about how you miss me? I missed you first. I hope you notice that I'm not around as much anymore and it only has to do with the fact that if I run into you, I still have enough mad in me to punch you. The funny thing is, I think you're just staying away to let me cool down...and I'm laughing because that is the last thing you should do. When I'm mad and I make it known, those who know me know that they should listen to me rant. Otherwise, it just gets worse...

So, um, that would be a reason for you to start talking to me again...

God, I'm such a girl.