Missive
I read and I see the ramblings of people whose depth is only skin deep. I envy how one can just skate through life, periodically and shallowly touching upon that brief idea that maybe life isn't their happy story, and Oh! to be happy! before they slowly slide back into their ignorant bliss. What shallowness for mind must release them from the tribulations of their morality! Would I not want to be blessed with such graceful and effortless shallow? That Love is simply silly things, a random occurance of touch and smiles? How I envy the shallow! For Love's sweet breath touched me but once, kissed lightly my cheek, a fair fairy with the kiss of a butterfly, with breathless wonder and I saw in that moment our lives forever intertwined, her smile showing the future of my indended and I. Try as I might, the fairy has not returned to bestow her blessing upon me, my heart heavy and my soul torn asunder. But to be shallow and never have recieved a visit from the fair fairy? Oh, such bliss! To remain ignorant of a real love that takes roots in the heart but transcends time. Such bliss to leave my dignity and identity at the threshold of the house, all for the sake of a shred of comfort that one would give me, the shred of comfort that I will not allow myself. It would be nice to walk the Earth in shallow, to roam the countryside without thought nor care of my personal being, to give up that which is solely me, so that I may have what all others want. Yes, to be shallow in love and life, to appease myself and my conscience. Alas, my heart has been torn, and now I must deal with just the reminants of love, reaching for tatters of hopefulness among the cloths of despair. If only I were graced enough to be shallow. ...
4 comments:
Been reading a certian person's blog? I haven't but I get that impression. It kinda has that certian smell. Then again you know what happens when people assume. Then you become that person. Plus the world is full of shallow people and full of blogs so take your pick.
Sorry, don't mean to take over with dumb comments. While I haven't felt love in a healthy situation, I have an idea of what it should be. Anything else is a farce or for "right now". Infatuation taught me that harsh lesson. I'm sure I've been shallow about some things. But not for what I perceive as major things. I often wonder if people ARE just shallow or if they CHOOSE. There is a big difference but I can't decide which is worse.
It is possible to choose to be shallow though I doubt someone goes "When I grow up, I want to be shallow and ignorant!" But I've seen it. My dad's family for example. It's easier and the longer you convince yourself of something, the easier for them to make it somehow true in their own mind.
Makes me think of Kids in the Hall. "I'm crushing your head!" and "Nobody's home!"
Ok, now I'll shut up because I also have my own blog ;)
Yeah, was reading it. It's bad when you sit there for ten minutes straight laughing at the rampant stupidity. Becuase there was something written that was exactly what you had been saying to her. But then she goes back to "oh, he's so wonderful. i'll just hang onto while it lasts" kinda thing. STUPID! And instead of ranting about it, I decided to write in the style of early century humorists.
As for ignorance, I believe a certain amount is they just are, combined with what children are taught. Both nature and nurture, if you want the 30-second version of it.
early 20th century, that is
Heh. She isn't a bad person, she really isn't. She just is so wrapped up in the situation that she can't see beyond. I've been there (different circumstances of course) and it's hard. I'm almost positive something extremely similar would have happened had I pushed a certian person from my past. But dammit, when it gets that out of control you need to start taking control. It's when she became a black hole sucking everyone else into it that I had to back away. I hope that she finds real love someday. That day is going to take a long time though. I hope you experience it again. I hope that I get to experience it in a healthy way. I know that when I do, my perception of things will change and I won't be so bitter. Wait, I take that back. I'm not bitter. I'm just realistic. Just because I hope for something isn't going to make it happen and closing your eyes to a situation is not going to make it all better.
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