Sears: 70% Clearance, Wife Berating Free

So I went to Sears today, to buy some clothing cheap. As I was shopping:

- Old Man and Old Woman were walking along the main aisle, carrying a pillow. I have no idea who started the needling, but when I was in earshot, he was picking on her. "Oh, we're not going to buy that. You don't need any more damn stuff. Don't look at that, we're not going to buy it. Stop going over there." She just wanted to look at something. Then she started picking at him. "The corner isn't firm. Doesn't it say that this is firm? You didn't get the right thing!"

When I see couples like this, sometimes I wonder if people actually form parasitic relationships with their partners. It's almost like they have to needle each other otherwise they have nothing to do.

- Didn't see the couple, but I heard them. "What the hell is that?" "What?" "That!" "Hey, look, you said-" "I didn't say anything!"

Bar Mouse was trying to fucking concentrate on adding up her purchases to see if she was over her shopping limit, but wanted to step up to them and just say, "I'm sorry, you'll just have to take this outside." Not that I'm mean, but after the first one, my patience was used up.

- And the grand finale: "There is NO WAY I'm holding your purse! NO! Not even FOR A MINUTE! You know what we call a guy who holds a purse on my block? A FAG!"

You do know, sir, that holding your wife's/girlfriend's purse will not, in fact, shrink your testicles. In actuality, the fact that you would be holding your opposite sex partner's purse would seem to indicate that you are not, as you so charmingly told the whole fucking store, A FAG. I would also like to point out that there is another group stereotypically known for creating drama in public places. They would be known as "homosexual males", or in your vernacular, FAGS. I would even venture to guess that creating drama in a store by homosexual males would have more correlation as a stereotype than homosexual males holding their wives'/girlfriends' purses.

You know what we call a guy on my block who refuses to hold his partner's purse when she's shopping? A DOUCHEBAG.