"Hi! My name is Ace Hat, and I'm a successful business owner. You don't know me, but I'm sure that you know many people like me. After high school, I didn't see much point in going to college. I thought that I could find a job that paid well. Boy, was I wrong. After a few years of working menial jobs for low pay, I wanted to expand my horizons and earn a degree that would brighten my future. I searched high and low for a quality and inexpensive business degree program that would further my goals. I looked at the University, but there seemed to be too many hurdles to get through. I looked at online courses but that, too, seemed very impersonal as well as the school-by-mail programs that third-tier celebrities hawk on infomercials. No, I wanted a personally enriching school experience. That's when I found the Acadamy of Carmel Covered Popcorn. Their classes were just the right size and had a learning environment that I enjoyed. So if you -- or someone you know -- is looking to make a career change, call the Acadamy of Carmel Covered Popcorn today!"

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"Some people ask me, 'Chet, how did you get so successful?' Well, I like to tell them it was hard work and preserverence that got me where I am today. The real truth is that to be this successful, I have a degree from one of the finest education institutions that there is. Ivy League? No, too stuffy. University? No, too crowded. So where did I recieve quality education and endless opportunities? At the 1000 Monkeys Typing Business School. 'Where?' you may ask. Well, the 1000 Monkeys Typing Business School is a little-known school that has a long tradition of outstanding success. Many graduates make six figures or more within the first year of graduation! Why haven't you heard of the 1000 Monkeys Typing Business School before? Well, because they adhere to strict admissions stanards, allowing in only the best and brightest. Why don't you visit one of the many locations today? Your future is waiting."

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"Are you tired of working for peanuts? Is the passive-agressive monster that is your boss getting under your skin? Do you wish that you could make way more money than the Jonses next door? Well, we've got just the program for you! At the Snakes on a Plane Management School, you will recieve a quality education at an exceptionally reduced price. Many of our graduates land top and high paying jobs within six months of graduation. With our business program, you can increase your earning potential in just two years! Be your boss's boss and live in comfort! We also have an extensive Information Techologies program, too. Call today and fire your boss!"