Randomness

My horoscope from Astrocenter.com:

You continue to be in top form in many ways. You have a certain something that is very attractive, and makes others want to engage with you, whether this is in terms of business, pleasure, or merely to strike up a conversation. Mercury aspects both Mars and Venus in your own sign, and this helps you to focus on saying the right things at the right time. If you need to get your message across, do so over the course of this week, when you will have maximum impact. This goes for any kind of message, whether a sales presentation, a speech or lecture or perhaps a necessary talk that you need to have with another. If you have some persuading to do, you will be at your best, charming, ever so charming, but forceful enough to get your point home. Your love life revolves around 'your' plans, ideas, and your ego. If you don't like the way the game is played, then you will be more than happy to say so, in no uncertain terms. On the one hand, if you find things very pleasing, there is no end to the amount of trouble you will go through, to continue to have a good time. A Full Moon in your house of passion and intensity brings an interesting decision your way.

Hmmm. This is a rather interesting horoscope...because I'm already feeling this way. There's a few things I want to say to people, especially since I'm getting sick of "I'll say one thing but do another" tactic. If there's ever one piece of good advice an asshole friend ever gave me, it was "be honest with yourself". And that makes sense. It really doesn't matter if you're honest with other people or not, just know who/what you are and don't be afraid to admit it to yourself. But sometimes a person will come along and call you on it; don't be afraid to admit it to them either. I am not a nice person. I can be downright cruel if I expend any energy for it. Sometimes I say mean things in a joking way but I'm really not kidding because I'm annoyed by it. And I hate to be ignored. I have this problem with people constantly obsessing over their distractions and then apologizing for ignoring me, because, you see, they really wanted to spend time with me. Forget it. A long, long time ago I decided -- no, vowed -- that I would do my best to entertain myself and not be dependant upon others for my amusement. And if someone was going to be distracted by things -- books, computers, video games, drugs -- then I didn't have to put up with that. And throughout my life, it's always been one of those things that make people ignore me. In fact, I know people that have done more than one of those things. There's no sense in wasting my time when it's valuable. So then I distract myself, and if suddenly then you want to pay attention to me, well, you're going to have to wait until I am done. There's a proper time for doing things. I'm not an attention hog; there are times where I don't care if someone's doing something other than paying attention to me. It's just when I want attention, I would like to recieve it. Especially since I don't ask for it often. I guess that's what bugs me; I don't ask for someone to pay attention to me very often so when I want attention, apparently they think it can wait. Oh, well, does it really matter anymore? I guess not. I guess it never matters, one of those things I just have to expect and get over. I just can't help feeling hurt, but I really should get over that too. Maybe I'm the one with the fault....