On Race
Or, Even If I Am White, Please Think Of Me As Black
I harbor no illusions that I may have an occasional racist thought. It takes effort and motivation to stop and think about that single thought, to wonder, to dissect the thought until I can get it out of my head, at least for the time being. When you grow up in the white world, it's all too easy for the many layers of racism to seep into your head. I'm not talking about the group of white people and there's a black person in the room kind of thing...I'm talking about when there's no black people around. Apparently, some white people can feel that they can say certain things because we're all white, don't 'cha know.
Whatever class privilages my color gives me, I would gladly spend a day talking with people about the honkies. Really. It's not a "Can't we all just get along?" kind of thing, it's a "Well, people are just people" kind of thing, and you know what? If you have to, in just about any conversation about people, have to use qualifiers like "Black" or "Mexican" or "Towelhead", you can just stuff it. Like a story about a rude person has to involve color...or a funny story about a person has to involve color. If it's not necessary to the narrative, then STOP. Rude people are everywhere, and I don't know about you, but I've encountered my fair share of rude white people, as well as rude people from other ethnicities. It has nothing to do with race. Rude people are just plain fucking rude. And no more towelhead shit either.
On the street, in the bar, well, I can take that little bit and just be annoyed for an evening. At work, however, I sit and boil, getting angrier that I have to work with one of those people, you know their kind, the people who blather about "Towelheads" and black people getting into car accidents (as if, in the history of the world, no white person was ever in an accident!), the kind that all look alike. Sadly, I look like one of those people. I wish I didn't. And I so wish my coworker would shut up. I'm afraid that one day I'm just going to start yelling at her. I've taken, in my head, just to go "Blah, blah, blah" whenever she speaks like that. It's not working very well.
This weekend's activity? Must apply for other jobs. Not that I'll avoid the blathering idiots, but hopefully I'll be in an office where there are enough kinds of people to discurage those people to start blathering, lest they get dragged into HR and get their ass fired.
Off to work now, thank god it's Friday!
3 comments:
I'm trying to figure out what to do. I've said a few things to her about it and to not say those things, but it still doesn't matter to her. I'm debating on going to HR or my supervisor with it, even though my supervisor has heard her saying these things (happens on our smoke breaks). I'm thinking she needs a talking to more serious than "Please stop saying that" and "Knock it off".
I confronted a co-worker a little while back who was talking about "The Mexicans". It actually spawned an interesting conversation and she hasn't done it since. Probably a bit of a different situation though, the person you work with seems to be set in her ways. Not that I am perfect, I agree with you that it's impossible to be 100% stereotype free. It's hard to confront people about it. My upstairs neighbor for example. I've known him for like ten years and he is always spouting out really stupid racist remarks. It took me YEARS to call him on it. It always made me uncomfortable but I never knew what to say. He is one of the most ignorant people that I've ever met. I never understood how someone who didn't made it past ninth grade, can barely read, had never been able to drive a car due to teenage fuck ups, and is such a hard core alcoholic that he drinks himself stupid every single night can have a damn thing to say about ANYONE. But according to him, it's all the n-word's fault (etc). Fucking piece of white trash. But then again there I go, stuck in the land of sterotypes within stereotypes and I've seem to have gone off on a tangent. Basically, I've learned that if you contradict something racist it generally causes them to shut up. Kind of like oh, they called me on it. Most people know what they are saying is wrong. They just don't care and will use it to make themselves feel superior. I just wonder what the hell it is that they need to feel superior about.
I often wonder too if they have ever felt the brunt of it. I'm a woman. I'm a lesbian. I'm also white so there are assumptions based upon that. Kind of like what you were talking about - oh your white so it's ok to talk trash about others that aren't white. But I've had to hear people talk trash about gays and lesbians, not knowing that I am one. I've had to take a lot of shit it's not fun. It hurts and it makes you angry. Good luck, I hope the bitch gets put in her place.
Good luck with her. If your voice isn't enough to get her to stop, then you should take it to your supervisor. Being one of those with a year-round 100% tan, I don't hear what others might say when I am not around.
I do know that I speak my mind when I hear racist, sexist, homophobic remarks around me. If enough of us speak out then hopefully this type of behavior will stop.
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