Learning.

I learned tonight, that if I, with my fatty body and fat ass, cannot ever be held to same standard that thinner women and their smaller asses would ever be held to...

So apparently, having small tits and a small ass, coming from an ex-boyfriend, would actually be an excuse not to hit her. As long as she was attractive, he wouldn't kick her in the leg if she was spiritual...well, now I know what I did wrong. I just wasn't thin enough. Or had small ass/thigh/boobies thing going on. Ah, yes, my fault. My fault that I see through this bullshit. Either you love a woman, because you love her, or you're looking for the perfect 10. If you're looking for "perfect" without the phrase "perfect for you", you're wasting your time. Seriously.

I don't care whether guys are attracted to me or not. Just let me know. A "I'm not into you" is so much better than anything else...and I so wanted that. I even fucking asked ex, in fact, I said, "If you're not attracted to me sexually, then we can't go out. I just want to know." But did I get the truth? Oh, hell no. What the hell? I said it would be okay, but I wouldn't date him, we'd just be friends. Are there guys out there as terribly insecure as girls are? If there are, I would have no idea why......